15 of the Best Valentine’s Day Pick Up Lines

January 19, 2022

Valentines Day Outfit Idea

If you’re like us, you don’t mind getting a little bit cheesy. Puns, dad jokes, and everything in between are basically our bread and butter, and we feel absolutely no shame—and you shouldn’t either!

Don’t let anyone shame you if you love corny humor. When Valentine’s Day comes around, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t ham it up just like you do every other day of the year, so don’t be afraid to try some of these pick up lines while you’re out there looking for your soulmate. 

1. “I Don’t Have a Library Card, But Do You Mind if I Check You Out?” 


Let’s be real: does anyone actually have a library card these days? The last time any of us remember reading a book was when the last in the series about a bespectacled wizard came out in 2007. Since then, we’ve been too busy coming up with pick up lines. 

This one is a real winner. It lets your would-be beau know that you’re the down-to-earth, grass-fed, honest-talking type. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be telling it to them so straight. You might not care about books, but you know a masterpiece when you see them walking down the street.

2. “Now I Know Why Solomon Only Had 700 Wives – He Never Met You.” 

If you like to add a little bit of Biblical flair to your pick up lines, this one's for you.King Solomon is sometimes referred to as “Solomon the Wise,” but we think a better title for him would be “Solomon the Friggin’ Player.”

The guy had so many wives (and a few hundred concubines to boot) that he was probably right-swiping all day long. Who has time to rule the kingdom and rebuild the holy temple when there’s a sea of wives and babies, and you’re drowning in it?

When you meet the one, and you know you have to seal the deal as fast as possible, this is the pick up line to use to show them that they’re one-of-a-kind. If Solomon had met this mighty fine specimen, he never would’ve had to marry so many women and have so many concubines. He’s not the lucky one, though—you are!

3. “Are You an Airbender? Because You Blow Me Away.” 


If you happen to know that your love interest is a fan of classic cartoons, this is the perfect pick up line to use on them. It shows that you’ve got great taste and have some important interests in common with your crush.

After all, what’s a relationship if you can’t binge your favorite shows together? 

4. “Do You Believe in Love at First Sight, or Should I Walk By Again?” 

We have to give credit to a certain comedy singer for this one. We’ll give you a hint: he plays the accordion and has very long curly hair.

To give credit where credit is due, that particular parody writer has an entire song packed with pick up lines, and we drew some major inspiration from him for this blog. This one is the opening line to that hilarious track, and we can see why. It’s one of the most iconic pick up lines ever, and it’s literally dripping with cheese.

5. “I Think There’s Something Wrong With My Phone. Could You Call It to See if It Rings?” 

If you’re just trying to get their digits in your cell, this is the perfect pickup line for you. Sometimes, the best way to start a lifelong relationship is with a few texts and calls, but you’ll need their phone number first.

If you’ve been crushing on someone for ages, Valentine’s Day is an ideal time to let them know, and this pick up line gives you a chance to show them your sense of humor, too. 

Getting someone’s phone number can be tough, and it’s sometimes a bit out of the question to just straight-up ask. Throwing in a clever pick up line makes it easier to break the ice and start the conversation. From there, there’s nothing stopping you from asking them out on that first date.

6. “You’re So Hot That if You Ate Bread, You’d Poop Out Toast.” 


Okay, we admit it… this one is pretty gross.

However, some people appreciate mildly scatological humor. In fact, for some, it’s the key to their hearts. If you suspect that your crush likes to be a little goofy, this is a fantastic pick up line for you.

All it takes is making someone laugh once for them to warm up to you a bit, and this one is bound to get a laugh out of even the shyest people. Even science says humor is attractive. It also brings a pretty vivid image into our heads that we’d really like to get out of there.

7. “Do You Have a GPS? I’m Lost in Your Eyes.”


This one is cheesy, that’s for sure—but it’s also sweet.

If you’re not sure how to tell someone that you think they’re a 10 out of 10, this pick up line can help you start the conversation off on the right foot.

Life is short, and sometimes you just need to tell it like it is. That means that if you’re really crushing hard on someone and think they’re perfect, it’s best to let them know.

8. “Are You My Appendix? Because I’ve Got a Funny Feeling in My Stomach That Makes Me Think I Should Take You Out.” 

This one is bound to appeal to the more medically-minded hotties in your life. If you’re chasing after a guy or gal that works as a doctor, nurse, or weird anatomical illustration collector, this pick up line is bound to get a smile out of them. It’s one of the most clever lines that we’ve found during our thousands of hours of research on the subtle art of the pickup.

9. “Are You French? Because Eiffel for You.” 

This pick up line earned our praise for one simple reason: It’s a really, really good pun. 

Puns are a bit controversial in the world of humor. Some love them, while others hate them. We’re definitely on team pun over here at Famous IRL, just in case you hadn’t noticed that already.

Anytime you give us an opportunity to make a pun or dad joke, we’ll take it. That’s why we highly recommend starting off a conversation with a stranger with this line. Even if you don’t get their number, you’ll still get a laugh.

10. “I Wish I Was Cross-Eyed…Then I’d See You Twice.”

Have you ever seen someone who looked so perfect that you wished you had double vision? That way, you could appreciate them twice as much. This line is perfect for letting someone know that you think they’re pretty hot and would like nothing more than to take them out to dinner.

11. “Life Without You Is Like a Broken Pencil…Pointless.” 

If you have someone in your life who completes you, you need to let them know. Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your days regretting that you didn’t tell them how much you loved them! We’ve said it already, but life is too short to hold back. So, say that pick up line!

When you meet your soulmate, life without them seems pointless, just like a broken pencil. That special person is the kid in your fourth-grade class who always had three extra pencils and was always willing to lend you one, even if they knew you’d break it. God bless that kid.

12. “My Love for You Is Like Diarrhea; I Just Can’t Hold It In.” 


This is another pick up line that we need to credit to a certain curly-haired parody songwriter. It’s also one of the nastier ones on our list. However, when you think about it, there are quite a few similarities between true love and the runs.

You can sense both of them when you walk into a room, they’re both often accompanied by uncontrollable urges, and you’ll never have happiness in your life if you don’t let them out. 

Comparing love and diarrhea might not be the most tasteful way to start a conversation, but it’s definitely funny. Depending on who you’re trying to pick up with this line, it may be a major success (or a colossal failure). You’ll never know if you don’t try!

Line Up 

This Valentine’s Day, get out there and let someone know you love them. Even if it’s cheesy, you’ll never regret it. While you’re at it, make sure to grab some Valentine’s-inspired apparel from our shop! 

We’re here to help you express yourself on Valentine’s Day and all of the other 364 days of the year. Even if you think the whole holiday is a consumer-driven waste of time, we’ve got a shirt for you. If you just want someone to touch your butt and buy you tacos, we’ve got a shirt for you. Even if your dog is your Valentine, we’ve got a shirt for you!


Valentines Day Gift Ideas



The Dad-Joke Doctrine | The Atlantic

Solomon | Sources, Meaning, Temple, & Facts | Britannica

Effects of Humor Production, Humor Receptivity, and Physical Attractiveness on Partner Desirability | Sage Journals

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