Not to toot our own horn or anything, but the US of YAY is theGOAT (toot, toot!). Seriously - we’ve got an entire month designated tocelebrating love where we can parade down the street decked out in rainbows.
We have crazy festivals with loads offood fried and dipped in chocolate (Ummm—is there any other way to eat food? Didn’t think so.)
We have some of the coolest theme parks around, and most importantly, we’ve gotfreedom of speech, baby! That’s why/how we can write this super dope article with all the fresh facts and hot takes.
Look, we’re not saying we’re perfect, but wearesaying we’renumber one. And if that happens to mean we’re perfect, then it is what it is - we’re *perfect*.
Oh, you don’t think so? Don’t worry; there’s a lot of people who hate us cuz they ain’t us. After all, we are the home of the brave, the land of the free. We are theback-to-back world champs, and we’re waytoo cool for British rule. We dance likeRussia isn’t watching, probably inventedday drinking, and we have some seriously coolboss babes.
*Cue infomercial voice: “But that’s not all:”
America isn’t just a country; it’s a state of mind. It’s a country where freedom rings,love sees no color, and everyone has the opportunity to follow their dreams. Whether your goal is to join theUSA drinking team, become agrill sergeant, getstar-spangled hammered, or even run forpresident: you can do it inMeowica.
Simply put,it’s lit here in the US, and if you feel otherwise, you clearly haven’t been here. So talk your smack—people only throw shade on what shines. *mic drop*
Want to celebrate the best country on the planet? Show yourred, white, and brew pride and stock up on a few (or a ton) of our awesomepatriotic tees. And while you’re at it, we want you to get us abeer. But grab yourself one too, and maybe we can play a quick round ofbeer pong. Oh, you like beer pong? Of course, you do—we invented it: You’re welcome.