Yo-ho, yo-ho a pirate’s life for me! Just kidding, we’re more about thatbad and boozy life. Now don’t get us wrong, we have nothing against pirates, but when we drink, we justknowthings. Like how whiskey is best servedneat and margaritas are best atmidnight. We also knowliquor is quicker and Sundays are alwaysfun days, but we’re sure you already knew that.
You see, whether you’re a new citizen ofDrunktown, USA, or you’ve been gettingsmashedsince you were a tiny tot—err, we mean a responsible 21—drinking from time to time (orallthe time) teaches you a whole lot of things. Little life lessons, if you will. And for that, we saydrink up, grinches!
Ahh! A favorite pastime passed down from generation to generation is thesport of drinking—or would you prefer we call it art? Perhaps drinking is more of an art form than a sport, but we’re toodrunk to make that call at the moment. Either way, Americans excel at this.
Whiskey,tequila,bourbon—we love it all! We also like to celebratebeer 30 with a couple of coldbrewskies and a side of tastyqueso in our face-o. And don’t even get us started on pre-gaming. Why? Because we’re thepregame MVPs, that’s why!
So, what does any of this have to do with pirates? Absolutely nothing. But hey, it made for a great intro, dontcha think? Now we just have to come up with a solid ending. Perhaps we could use a littleencourage mint. Or maybe just another drink. Yes, we know, we know, whiskey may not be the answer, but if you ask us, it’s definitely worth ashot (wink, wink).
When we drink, it’s important to drink in style. Drinking without the proper t-shirt is like having a piña coladawithouta tiny umbrella: serious faux pas. Let your style be as fun as your evening out withFamous IRL.